


Are you really going to love me when I'm gone?

by Florchis



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: 4x04 sneak peek, 4x04 spoilers, Gen, No plot whatsoever, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-18
Updated: 2016-10-18
Packaged: 2018-08-23 02:51:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8311063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Florchis/pseuds/Florchis
Summary: (SPOILERS FROM THE 4X04 SNEAK PEAK)Jemma and Daisy wait for May to come get them and they talk about some difficult feelings regarding Fitz.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work in english, so be critic but please be gentle.  
> Title from "I of the storm" of Of Monsters and Men

They are two proactive women not very fond of waiting, but Jemma has done what little she could with the minimal essentials she carries around in her purse, and May is on her way- Daisy was adamant about contacting her and only her-, so they wait.

Daisy is getting paler by the second, and her breathing is laboured and shallow, and Jemma is trying to keep her emotions in check: it’s not the first time she has been in this situation with Daisy and it won’t be the last. (Because she knows Daisy and knows she will never stop being in danger if it means she can do some good. And she knows Daisy _will_ live to try to do good and be in danger and get hurt and scare her. _She knows_.)

She doesn’t want to exhaust Daisy more than necessary, but she also wants her to remain conscious but distracted for as long as possible. This is not the time to throw accusations around or try to settle the score, so she puts Daisy’s head in her lap and strokes her hair before she starts talking as lightly as she can manage.

"It seems like you’re having a crazy time being away."

She talks about the last seven months like they were a long, overdue vacation and not a grief-fueled separation that has broken everybody’s hearts.

"I have seen the craziest shit, Simmons. Even for us. And that is saying something."

Jemma doesn’t recognize her clothes, her makeup and much about the way she is carrying her body now, but there is the tiniest glimpse of _before_ in that tone of voice, so she clings to that like an anchor.

"Yes, I know, Fitz, he, well, he can’t tell me much about anything, but I could recognize the amazed slash terrified look on his face anytime."

Daisy squirms when she hears Fitz’s name, and Jemma stops her ministrations on her hair.

"I know this will only happen when hell freezes over, but can we please not talk about Fitz?"

"Okay. Is it breaking the rules asking why?"  

"Yes."

A long silence follows, and Jemma checks her watch. If it only took May three to five minutes to leave the base, four minutes to get the van through security and-   

"He wants nothing to do with me, so I should respect that. Even when he is not here."

The idea is so ridiculous that Jemma feels like laughing, but the somber tone on Daisy’s voice stops her.

"Daisy, that’s ludicrous. You are, and you will _always_ be, at the _very least_ in the top five of things Fitz cares about."

"Things change, Simmons."

Again, Jemma feels like laughing- that seems to be her coping mechanism lately- because, _girl,_ does she know that.

"I agree. Things do change, but Fitz’s affections are usually unchanging."

Daisy scoffs and it sounds like blood, so Jemma presses a hand to her side to prevent her from moving too much.

"You should have seen the way he looked at me, Simmons."

"Well, yes, he’s mad and he’s hurting, but that doesn’t mean he does not love you anymore."

"Please, Simmons, don’t lie to me."

"I have gotten better at it, but I’m not _that_ good, Daisy. At least not with you, anyway.- Daisy’s eyelids flutter and Jemma touches with a very careful finger old and new scars that run through her forearm. Things are hard and maybe things will never _not_ be hard, but she can see the fighter in Daisy struggling to take over, and it painfully reminds her of an even _harder_ time in her own life.- Do you think Fitz stopped loving _me_ when _I_ left?"

"Simmons, I thought you were a certified genius, and that is the dumbest question I have been asked in my entire life."

It’s such a _Daisy_ thing to say that Jemma’s entire body trembles with the ache of familiarity, and it makes her next retort that much true.  

"Then _why on earth_ do you think he stopped loving _you_ because you left?"

"It’s not the same, Jemma."

She wants to say _You almost killed him and even then he still risked his life to save you, how can you possibly doubt his affection,_ but it wouldn’t be fair to her, to him or even to herself. So she says the best next thing she can come up with that still carries the same sentiment.   

"Maybe, but it’s not that different either."

Daisy closes her eyes so the tears won’t fall down, and Jemma lets her. She doesn’t ask why Daisy is on this quest to self-destruction, because she already knows; she doesn’t ask what Daisy has been doing with her life, because she already knows too much, and she doesn’t want to handle more risk, even if she could; she doesn’t say that she loves her, because they both know it’s clear as crystal on her care on her wounds and on her words on her soul.

May bursts in and falls immediately to her knees and her hand and Jemma’s meet next to Daisy’s wounds, and for the first time Jemma realizes that maybe they both understand love the same way.


End file.
